Time To Be Real

Time To Be Real

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been telling everyone how excited I am to be spending Christmas alone this year and that I can’t wait to be able to spend the day without arguing with my uncaring parents. But the reality is I’m just deluding myself. Telling myself this story in order to reassure myself that I’m going to be ok because, in reality, I’m bricking it.

The thought of being on my own on a day that is meant for spending with your family terrifies me. Curled up on the sofa watching all of the Christmas specials on my own. Seeing what everyone has got for Christmas on Twitter and Instagram when all I will be receiving is a blogger secret Santa and even that has to be opened before Christmas.

I may be coming off as sounding really bratty and ungrateful for what I have in life, but Christmas is portrayed by society as such an important day that I can’t help but feel this way.

And this is in no way me wanting you to invite me to your families Christmas because I really don’t want to intrude. That isn’t what this post is about.

I guess what I am saying is that it is about I stopped deluding myself, this world isn’t as rosy as I like to make myself believe. Yes, I am weak but I need to stop hiding that from myself.

2 thoughts on “Time To Be Real

  1. Oh Hayley Beth, first of all this isn’t weakness. You are being honest with yourself, and you are opening up that pain and honesty to others, and that is a real strength. Putting on a brave face and saying that everything is rosy isn’t being strong, and it probably isn’t helpful. You aren’t coming across as bratty or ungrateful at all!

    Yes, being alone at Christmas is tough. I’ve had to go through that twice and it was really hard. Feeling lonely at a time when everything you watch and everything you listen to is about family and love and togetherness is heart-breaking. It’s okay to feel like that.

    Make yourself a plan for Christmas Day. Get yourself some treats in, something nice to eat, pick out a good book and a film or series. Look after yourself, so you don’t end up getting up and moping about feeling miserable. Check out Sarah Millican’s twitter feed. She usually does some good support stuff for people who are alone at Christmas that might help you.

    You’re doing really well just admitting this to yourself, and I really hope it helps you.

  2. I’m with you, girl! I moved away from my family, and live on the other side of the US so I won’t be with them for the holidays.
    It’s not easy to be alone on a day when so many others are surrounded by family. It’s depressing.
    My blog is all about being independent, and even though I just started it and haven’t done much.. I’m thinking about writing a post about advice for spending xmas day alone.

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