These two are not best buddies. In fact, it is safe to say they are the most uncomfortable pairing known to man. Recently every time I have drunk I have either had a full-blown panic attack or a not so nice wobble. Number one this is really not fair on the people I am with but secondly, these episodes are incredibly exhausting and take me a good few days to recover from.
Because of all of this I have made the decision to no longer drink. This doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy a social pint down the pub with the lads but it does mean I won’t be going out with the intentions of getting drunk. Yes, I do become more confident when I drink but I also cry a lot. Again this doesn’t mean I won’t go out but I know I don’t need alcohol to let loose and have fun so why should I subject myself to it?
This isn’t the only decision I have made to put my mental health first. Next week I have a meeting with the mental health and wellbeing team to figure out what thing we can put in place to support me with my anxiety and depression. I have also built up a strong relationship with both my personal tutor and people on my course so I know if I need help or someone to talk to they are there.
Although I know my mental health will never be perfect I want to get to a point where it isn’t a constant worry for me and my friends. Being in a new environment means I am having to find new coping mechanisms and ways to prevent wobbles from happening. Whether it is a walk in the park or having a shower with one of my expensive shower bombs. It is time I put myself first.