A look back on 2018

A look back on 2018

It is that time of year where we sit down and look back at the last 52 weeks. We remember the achievements and see how we have grown from the hard times.

2018 was a very interesting year for me. It was a year of massive change I lived in a total of three different houses. My hair went from brunette to blonde to pink to blonde and then back to pink once again! But the biggest change for me was leaving the life of full time work to start university!

Going back into education

This has to be the biggest and possibly the scariest thing to happen this year. I think I spent the vast majority of the year panicking about failing or not making friends. Coming to university I have learnt so much about myself, I have figured out who I want to be and I am starting to figure out how to get there. I have also made some of the best friends I could ever ask for!

As for worrying about failing I got a B on my first assessment. I got a mark of 64 on a video journalism assessment. Something I definitely did not think would ever be possible.

Admitting I need help

2018 was also the year I learnt to stop bottling everything up. I bought a new journal and I started writing things down on paper again. I also spoke to a professional about my mental health. Although my CBT never happened I wanted to try something, anything to help me be a happier person. Instead now I have decided I will give self help books a go and try and learn more about astrology and spirituality as a way to focus my anxiety.

Family

2018 has also been the year where I had zero contact with my family. It has been incredibly hard. But I know that saying goodbye to the toxic relationship I had with them was for the best. The one thing I have come to realise though is that although yes I do miss having a mum, a dad and a sister I do not miss the people who were actually playing those parts.

Instead I have developed a stronger relationship with my grandparents and I have let the people around me in a little more. Family isn’t just the people we are related to. Family are the people who are there to pick you up when you fall and laugh along with you when you are at your highest.

As a whole 2018 hasn’t been fantastic. It was a lonely year of worry and upset. But it has also been a year of pushing my self out of my comfort zone and self-discovery.

I don’t know what 2019 will bring but I can only hope it will be a happier year surrounded by the people I love.

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