Over the last few weeks, I’ve been telling everyone how excited I am to be spending Christmas alone this year and that I can’t wait to be able to spend the day without arguing with my uncaring parents. But the reality is I’m just deluding myself. Telling myself this story in order to reassure myself that I’m going to be ok because, in reality, I’m bricking it.
The thought of being on my own on a day that is meant for spending with your family terrifies me. Curled up on the sofa watching all of the Christmas specials on my own. Seeing what everyone has got for Christmas on Twitter and Instagram when all I will be receiving is a blogger secret Santa and even that has to be opened before Christmas.
I may be coming off as sounding really bratty and ungrateful for what I have in life, but Christmas is portrayed by society as such an important day that I can’t help but feel this way.
And this is in no way me wanting you to invite me to your families Christmas because I really don’t want to intrude. That isn’t what this post is about.
I guess what I am saying is that it is about I stopped deluding myself, this world isn’t as rosy as I like to make myself believe. Yes, I am weak but I need to stop hiding that from myself.